The Decadent West

Ladies, don't ever say DW doesn't have your back:

Femdefence is an on-going project first presented in 2003. The project includes the creation of an imaginary product, which bears the project’s name. The “product“ is a kind of protection against rape, somewhat similar to a tampon in that it’s user carries it inserted into her vagina. The basic idea is that the woman carries the protective device in her vagina. In it there is a sharp pin which has a penetrating effect on the perpetrator’s penis in the event of a rape. The construction is such that the pin still cannot injure the bearer.

Men, did you just get the pee-pee shivers?

This is seriously fucked up. How many of you ladies in the DW Army would actually let a guy penetrate you in order to give him the hot nozzle treatment?

Via Ultra.
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The Washington Post ran a superb little fluff piece yesterday about Senator Trent "I Love Dixiecrats" Lott and the supposed rehabilitation of his power base.

Here's how Lott's clawing his way back to the top:

Lott took his consolation prize, the chairmanship of the Rules and Administration Committee, and turned it into a power base for dispensing favors, such as new computers and extra office space. He increased his profile by helping to organize Bush's second inauguration in January.

So he's the Senate's Easy Button. And on the basis of that, he's attempting to climb back into the upper strata of the GOP's Senate ranks:

Lott does little to discourage speculation that he might make another run at a leadership job. "If the right circumstances came along, I might do it again," he said. Lott said he finds Senate whip the most appealing post, because the whip is in the thick of everything but "doesn't have to make every damn decision," as Lott puts it.

It all depends on how the next year or two shake out. Lott has to decide for certain that he will run for a fourth term in 2006, though he says that is his intention. Frist plans to retire from the Senate next year, and his successor is all but certain to be Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), the current majority whip. Sen. Rick Santorum, the No. 3 Republican, is slotted to move into McConnell's current post. But Santorum is expected to face a reelection fight in Pennsylvania next year. If he loses, that could be Lott's opening.

Are you fucking kidding? This guy implied the nation would've been better off with a racist president and a segregationist agenda. So now that he's the guy who can get you Post-Its on demand, he's planning a comeback?

Does anyone think the GOP is going to let that happen, considering the shitstorm they're still trying to fight off regarding Tom "I Love To Threaten Judges" DeLay?
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Robert B. Zoellick's nomination as Deputy Secretary of State was confirmed by the Senate on February 16, 2005. He was sworn in on February 22, 2005.

Since February 2001, Mr. Zoelick served as the 13th U.S. Trade Representative. During his tenure as U.S. Trade Representative, Mr. Zoellick completed the negotiations to bring China and Taiwan into the World Trade Organization; developed a strategy to launch new global trade negotiations at the WTO meeting in Doha and to press the negotiations forward in 2004; completed and enacted Free Trade Agreements with Singapore, Chile, Australia, and Morocco; completed FTAs with five nations of Central America and the Dominican Republic, as well as with Bahrain; failed to "seal the deal" when he suffered a panic attack during foreplay with a 7 year old prostitute in Bangkok in 2001; worked with Congress to enact the Jordan FTA and the Vietnam Trade Agreement; launched Free Trade Agreement negotiations with the Southern African Customs Union, Panama, the Andean countries, and Thailand; and worked with Congress to pass the Trade Act of 2002, which included new Trade Promotion Authority, and to expand the African Growth & Opportunity Act (AGOA).

During President George H.W. Bush's Administration, Mr. Zoellick served with Secretary of State James A. Baker, III, as Under Secretary of State for Economic and Agricultural Affairs, as well as Counselor to the Department (Under Secretary rank). Mr. Zoellick's responsibilities included political, economic, and security topics in all regions of the world. He served as the senior U.S. official in the "Two-plus-Four" negotiations for German unification and worked closely with Secretary Baker on the policies pertaining to the end of the Cold War, a responsibility that required 20-hour work days and seriously kaboshed his deep, intense desire to feel the inside of a human female's vagina for the first time since his birth. Mr. Zoellick was the lead State Department official in the negotiations on the North American Free Trade Agreement, the Uruguay Round, and the launch of the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation group. He played a key role in the Central American peace processes. Mr. Zoellick was also appointed the President's personal representative, or Sherpa, for the G-7 Economic Summits in 1991 and 1992. In August 1992, Mr. Zoellick was appointed White House Deputy Chief of Staff and Assistant to the President.

Mr. Zoellick received the Distinguished Service Award, the Department of State's highest honor. The German government awarded him the Knight Commanders Cross for his role in developing the U.S. strategy toward German unification, a medal he hopes to wear one day during fornication.

From 1985 to 1988, Mr. Zoellick repeatedly attempted to force his dog to fellate him, and also served at the Department of the Treasury in various positions, including Counselor to Secretary James A. Baker, III, Executive Secretary of the Department, and Deputy Assistant Secretary for Financial Institutions Policy. Mr. Zoellick received the Alexander Hamilton Award, the Department of Treasury's highest honor.

After leaving government service in 1993, Mr. Zoellick developed an addiction to PC games such as Leisure Suit Larry and SimCity, in addition to regularly huffing blueberry scented Mr. Sketch markers. Shortly thereafter, he was appointed an Executive Vice President at Fannie Mae, the largest housing finance investor in the United States, where he managed the company's affordable housing business; legal, regulatory, government relations activities; a failed courtship with 82 year old secretary Dottie Black; and international financial services. He also served as the John M. Olin Professor of National Security at the U.S. Naval Academy, Research Scholar at the Belfer Center for Science and International Affairs at Harvard University, and Senior International Advisor to Goldman Sachs.

In May 2002, Mr. Zoellick was awarded an honorary Doctor of Humane Letters from St. Joseph's College in Rensselaer, Indiana, an honor he was not able to accept in person due to injuries sustained in an freak chandelier accident/autoerotic masturbation session. He also served as board member of a number of private and public organizations, including Alliance Capital, the Council on Foreign Relations, the National Psoriasis Foundation, the German Marshall Fund of the United States, the New York Jacks, and the World Wildlife Fund Advisory Council.

Raised in Naperville, Illinois, Mr. Zoellick received a J.D. magna cum laude from the Harvard Law School, a Master of Public Policy degree from Harvard University's Kennedy School of Government in 1981, and the nickname "Gorkus" from the object of his unrequited love, Cindee Stratton, a hirsute economics major known to fuck even the ghastliest underclassmen. He graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Swarthmore College in 1975.

Biography of Bob Zoellick stolen from the US State Department website. We added a couple of things that made it look a little bit more authentic.
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As recovering cable news junkies, DW has been known to indulge in the offerings of the relatively serene Food Network from time to time. One day, after a particularly intense bongloading session, we turned it on and saw cooking himbo Tyler Florence making some chocolate chip cookies that, at the time, looked out. of. fucking. control.

Ever the adventurers, DW printed out the recipe, raced to the supermarket, purchased tons of shit we would never normally buy, and decided to make these delicious morsels ourselves.

The initial results?



FUCKING HORRENDOUS.

Stubborn, we tried again the next night. We didn't have the stomach to take a photo, but imagine the toilet offerings of Cookie Monster with a mild case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome and you'll be somewhere in the vicinity of just how terrible they were.

Last night, however, we tinkered with the recipe. The end result was an unqualified masterpiece.



Moist and tender like a 17 year old girl's vagina on the 364th day of the year, they were so delicious we had to share the modified recipe with you, the DW Army. Perhaps Rand will whip up a batch for Hotella. If you're lucky.

Special thanks to DW benefactor Dad for her undying love, support, and kitchen knowhow. Oh, and if you ever need to have anything translated into Swedish Chef-ese, here's your source.
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Via Data What?
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The House of Representatives has just approved The Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act of 2005, the largest legislative rewrite of our nation's bankruptcy code in 25 years:

Tens of thousands of people who want to wipe out their debts in bankruptcy court would have to work out repayment plans instead under legislation Congress approved Thursday.

A 302-126 vote by the House sent the legislation to President Bush, who said he was eager to sign the measure, the biggest rewrite of the bankruptcy code in a quarter-century. It marks the second major change in law to benefit business since Republicans increased their House and Senate majorities in last fall's elections.

Debate in the House was acrimonious as Democratic opponents warned that the measure would hurt the economically vulnerable while failing to restrain aggressive marketing and high rates charged by credit card issuers.

After eight years of strenuous efforts by congressional backers, banks and credit card companies, the legislation was catapulted toward enactment starting earlier this year. The legislation, which garnered some Democratic votes, cleared the Senate last month on a 74-25 vote.

The measure would require people with incomes above a certain level to pay credit-card charges, medical bills and other obligations under a court-ordered bankruptcy plan.

Opponents say the change would fall especially hard on low-income working people, single mothers, minorities and the elderly and would remove a safety net for those who have lost their jobs or face crushing medical bills.

The legislation "protects the credit industry at the expense of the consumer," Rep. Alcee Hastings, D-Fla., declared in House debate. "It will drive more Americans deeper into financial crisis and weaken the nation's economy and social structure."

But backers in Congress and the financial services industry argue that bankruptcy frequently is the last refuge of gamblers, impulsive shoppers, divorced or separated fathers avoiding child support, and multimillionaires — often celebrities — who buy mansions in states with liberal homestead exemptions to shelter assets from creditors.

"Those who abuse the system make getting credit more expensive for everyone," House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., said after the vote as he and Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tenn., signed the bill to speed it to the president. "Bankruptcy is for those who need help, not those who want to shift costs to other hardworking Americans."

Just like we thought. This whole thing is about preventing multimullionaires from having tax shelters. So who was the driving force behind this honest, forthright legislation that is so helpful to us consumers?

CREDIT CARD COMPANIES???

MBNA Corp., JPMorgan Chase & Co. and the finance units of General Motors Corp. and Ford Motor Co. are among the companies and credit-card issuers lobbying for the bill. Proponents argued that unpaid consumer loans cost every American $400 a year in higher prices.

"The credit-card industry bought and paid for this legislation,'' said Massachusetts Democrat William Delahunt. "They spent north of $40 million to make sure they got what they wanted."

So now that they're forcing those who can afford to pay $100 a month (those who make no more than $6,000 a year) to go on a repayment schedule instead of wiping the slate clean, the rest of us responsible debtors will see a dip in our credit card interest, right?

NO?

The overhaul of U.S. bankruptcy laws approved on Thursday by Congress will likely cut costs for credit card companies and bolster profits, but may provide little benefit to consumers, industry observers said.

Proponents of bankruptcy reform, including credit card issuers, have argued that bad debt management by a small group of consumers has run up costs for others who pay their bills on time and that changing the laws could eventually lower costs for consumers.

"It may reduce costs for financial institutions, but I doubt it means lower charges for consumers," said Hugh Johnson, chief investment officer at Johnson Illington Advisors. "I understand the theory (that the new law) means lower costs and lower costs may mean lower financing charges to borrowers. But I seriously doubt that's the way it will play out."

Allen Grommet, senior economist at Cambridge Credit, agreed. "It seems unlikely they (credit card companies) will easily pass on all of the extra profits they get in the form lower costs" to consumers."

Well, that sucks. But surely if this legislation was meant by Congress to prevent fraud, they would have closed the loophole in the current bankruptcy code that allows multimullionaires to protect assets by establishing protection trusts in one of five states that exempt said trusts from said codes? Isn't that what you said this was about?

NO????

In fact, for a bill purported to fight abuse, it leaves intact a huge loophole through which wealthy filers can protect millions - even billions - of dollars while being absolved of their debts. The loophole takes the form of a certain trust exempted from the requirement to liquidate. Also, the bill only narrows another loophole that permits the wealthy to protect their assets by putting them into mansions in five states that that have no limits on exemptions for homes.

Sen. Herb Kohl (D-Wis.) sought to eradicate that loophole. He settled on a compromise that limited its use. Notably, among the long series of Democratic amendments rejected by the Senate were two that would have entirely closed both loopholes for the rich.

You can find out more about that fun little clause for rich people here.

This is fucking bullshit. Do people take advantage of bankruptcy? Sure. Are credit card companies to blame for all your financial woes? No. You have to take personal responsibility for your credit.

But this bill isn't about ordinary consumers. It's about giving creditors a gift. If it was about real reform, there wouldn't be any fucking loopholes.

Because when major companies go bankrupt, guess who's there to help them get back on their feet?

View the full text of the bill here. And please, if you live in a state whose representatives helped push this garbage (both Democrats and Republicans), take the time to read it and ask yourself if these are people who truly have your best interests at heart.

Don't despair, folks. There is a silver lining to this piece of shit legislation: it just got that much harder for Bin Laden to fuck us in the ass.
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Over lunch yesterday at Santa Monica's finest taco house, Tacos Por Favor, DW Admirals Franky Realitos and GV mentioned if we had seen Frank's post about America: We Stand As One, a music video by Dennis Madalone that contains quite possibly the gayest pro-American imagery ever captured on frames of film. Shamefully, we hadn't.

So after lunch, we came back to DW HQ and checked out the video. We were simultaneously glad Franky pointed it out and upset we hadn't come across it first.

At the same lunch, GV ruminated on the possibility of said gay video being remixed with "America (Fuck Yeah)". Lo and behold, guess what turned up on Stereogum this morning? The remix (UPDATE: Old link is broken (see below). New link here, courtesy of IFilm.)

The internet: making dreams over DW's Burrito Colorado filled lunches come true.

UPDATE 2: The original link went dead because D-Mads got a little pissed off about the remix:

FROM: Dennis Madalone | America We Stand As One
dennis@dennismadalone.com
TO: info@wonkette.mac.com
Date: Wed Apr 13, 2005 02:31:24 AM PDT
Subject: America We Stand As One FY Video

To the Creators and host of the America We Stand As One, "F#ck Yeah!"
Video.

http://www.wonkette.com/
http://homepage.mac.com/joshfowler/.Movies/america-fuckyeah-
westandasone.mov
http://gawker.com/

My name is Dennis Madalone. I recently viewed your video
http://www.wonkette.com/politics/patriotism/index.php#america-we-kick-
ass-as-one-039439 featuring my visuals and I must say I'm flattered.
However, I think you may have misunderstood the message. It was not
just a pro america campaign, it was also remembrance for the loved ones
we lost, during the war and 9-11.

As I do not want the rest of the nation to get confused because you
decided to use me as your singer in your version of the video, people
are asking me if I created the remix, and I am getting some very
negative feedback. I will be posting on my website that I had no part
of the video and want to make one request if I may so I may link your
video from my website. In order to do this, I respectfully request that
you please edit-out the scene with added face from the baby at the
grave site for the message struck me and my family very hard. That
baby is no longer with us and if the parents of their lost newborn were
to catch glimpse, I think you could imagine the consequences I would
have to face in explaining to the family why I would make a parody
video poking fun at their lost son. Im asking you to please be kind and
caring on this matter, it is causing much pain in our family.

Thank you for understanding,

Dennis Madalone and my family
America We Stand As One?

We don't know what's funnier: the remix or this fucking sob story of a letter.

Via Say Anything.
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Please caption this photo of Tha Dubs serving Israeli PM Ariel Sharon the last thing he needs: more Zionist candy bars.
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Now we know why Rand Pilfer has so many problems:

A researcher at the University of Alberta has shown that parents are more likely to give better care and pay closer attention to good-looking children compared to unattractive ones. Dr. Andrew Harrell presented his findings recently at the Warren E. Kalbach Population Conference in Edmonton, Alberta.

Harrell's findings are based on an observational study of children and shopping cart safety. With the approval of management at 14 different supermarkets, Harrell's team of researchers observed parents and their two to five-year-old children for 10 minutes each, noting if the child was buckled into the grocery-cart seat, and how often the child wandered more than 10 feet away. The researchers independently graded each child on a scale of one to 10 on attractiveness.

Findings showed that 1.2 per cent of the least attractive children were buckled in, compared with 13.3 per cent of the most attractive youngsters. The observers also noticed the less attractive children were allowed to wander further away and more often from their parents. In total, there were 426 observations at the 14 supermarkets.

Harrell, who has been researching shopping cart safety since 1990 and has published a total of 13 articles on the topic, figures his latest results are based on a parent's instinctive Darwinian response: we're unconsciously more likely to lavish attention on attractive children simply because they're our best genetic material.

"Attractiveness as a predictor of behaviour, especially parenting behaviour, has been around a long time," said Harrell, a father of five and a grandfather of three. "Most parents will react to these results with shock and dismay. They'll say, 'I love all my kids, and I don't discriminate on the basis of attractiveness.' The whole point of our research is that people do."

How many of you are right now trying to equate the quality of your upbringing in comparison to how good looking you are? Quick, don't lie.

What DW wants to know is who are these monster parents that aren't buckling their kids into the fucking shopping carts? The study says that even if you're a hottie, you're still gonna be left unrestrained nearly 87% of the time. According to studies, there's an average of about 22,000 kids treated for shopping cart injuries a year. Just last week, DW was attacked by some unruly four year old doing a handstand on the Costco cart while Mom was looking for the tsunami aid sized bag of Mahatma. Yes, she looked like a gila monster.

And don't even get us started on the whole "judging the attractive kids" thing. All the good jobs are taken.

Cute or ugly: it doesn't matter. You're still going down hard by the fist of DW.

Via Boing Boing.
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Now what the fuck are we supposed to do?

Two US military airmen are being held on charges of smuggling millions of dollars worth of Ecstasy into the country, federal officials have said.

Capt Franklin Rodriguez, 36, an Air National Guard pilot, and Master Sgt John Fong, 35, were arrested on Tuesday on return from a mission in Europe.

Both men admitted during interviews to bringing the drugs from Germany on several occasions, the officials added.

They face a maximum of 20 years in jail and a $1m fine.

They were ordered to be held without bail at initial court appearances on Wednesday evening, the Associated Press news agency said.

Around 290,000 Ecstasy pills in 28 large bags were found in the two men's luggage after their Air Force C-5A cargo aircraft arrived at the Stewart Air National Guard base in Newburgh, New York State.

The pills are said to have a street value of up to $40 each.

Bullshit. Geeks pay $40 for a pill. We don't care where it's from, it's $25 tops for DW. Sounds like the government's trying to inflate their own score.

This is sobering news. We've got a party coming up, and motherfuckers everywhere are getting their labs busted (that article confirms the DW price range).

Why can't the government quit busting honest, hard working military men trying to subsidize their shitty government paychecks by making a few kids happy on the side? Don't they know ecstasy use in turn only boosts the sales of orange juice (farmers), vitamin C and Vicks products (pharmaceuticals)? These people are shooting the economy in the face!

Catch a fucking terrorist or something. Oh wait, that's right: drugs = terrorism. Sorry. We forgot.
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In light of the story about G Dubs' iPod and Jenna Bush's recent outing at the D.C. Club NerveAna, where she was spotted on all fours, shaking her ass to E.U.'s classic 80's booty anthem, "Da Butt" (that incident was allegedly videotaped, but, alas, the tape has mysteriously disappeared -- sorry boys), DW officially started wondering about what gems were on her portable player.

So, we enlisted some unsavory characters to do a Paris Hilton T-Mobile hack job on Jenna's iPod and bring us back some info on her totally awesome hit mix. The highlights were revealing, to say the least.

Here were some of our favorites:

Gucci Crew II - "Booty Shake" (link)
Freak Nasty - "Da Dip" (link)
2 Live Crew - "Shake That Ass Bitch" (link)
2 Live Crew - "Pop That Pussy" (link)
12 Gauge - "Dunkie Butt" (link)
DJ Kizzy Rock - "Let Me See U Ride" (link)
DJ Assault - "Ass-N-Titties" (link)
Khia - "My Neck, My Back (Lick It)" (link)
Duice - "Dazzey Dukes" (link)
Blowfly - "Prick Ryder" (link)
Poison Clan - "Shake Whatcha Mama Gave Ya" (link)

Guess the love for George Jones wasn't passed down from Poppy.

Jenna's booty debacle reminds us of a sweet sixteen party we went to back in our high school years. When we got to the party, it was a pretty modest affair: parents were present, the punch was virgin, and hormone crazed teenagers were kept at bay, segregated mostly into the prerequisite camps of boys, girls, and gays.

Two hours later, however, when the parents had gone upstairs for a viewing of The Big Chill and a key swapping session, shit turned into Freaknik faster than you could say "teenage pregnancy". There was this one girl, Winky Martinez (real name withheld to protect tha durrtay), who was by day a mild mannered cellist in the school orchestra. But within five minutes after the old folks went upstairs, Winky was polishing the parquet dance floor with her thong, choreographing her every move to the 2 Live Crew's
"The Fuck Shop". DW later found out she got pounded by a cholo named Pedro in the bathroom an hour later, a session which ended with the birth of Little Pedrito nine months later.

So what's that have to do with Jenna Bush? Nothing. We just think it's funny when a woman's decision making process breaks down and a public display of her tampon string all of a sudden sounds like a good thing.
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Yesterday, The New York Times ran one of the best fluff pieces in history: an article solely devoted to the contents of G Dubs' iPod.

Between his return on Friday from Pope John Paul II's funeral in Rome and his meeting today with Prime Minister Ariel Sharon of Israel, President Bush spent an hour and a half on Saturday on an 18-mile mountain bike ride at his Texas ranch. With him, as usual, was his indispensable new exercise toy: an iPod music player loaded with country and popular rock tunes aimed at getting the presidential heart rate up to a chest-pounding 170 beats per minute.

Which brings up the inevitable question. What, exactly, is on the First iPod? In an era of celebrity playlists - Tom Brady, the New England Patriots quarterback, recently posted his on the iTunes online music store - what does the presidential selection of downloaded songs tell us about Mr. Bush?

First, Mr. Bush's iPod is heavy on traditional country singers like George Jones, Alan Jackson and Kenny Chesney. He has selections by Van Morrison, whose "Brown Eyed Girl" is a Bush favorite, and by John Fogerty, most predictably "Centerfield," which was played at Texas Rangers games when Mr. Bush was an owner and is still played at ballparks all over America. ("Oh, put me in coach, I'm ready to play today.")

The president also has an eclectic mix of songs downloaded into his iPod from Mark McKinnon, a biking buddy and his chief media strategist during the 2004 campaign. Among them are "Circle Back" by John Hiatt, "(You're So Square) Baby, I Don't Care" by Joni Mitchell and "My Sharona," the 1979 song by the Knack that Joe Levy, a deputy managing editor at Rolling Stone in charge of music coverage, cheerfully branded "suggestive if not outright filthy" in an interview last week.

Mr. Bush has had his Apple iPod since July, when he received it from his twin daughters as a birthday gift. He has some 250 songs on it, a paltry number compared to the 10,000 selections it can hold. Mr. Bush, as leader of the free world, does not take the time to download the music himself; that task falls to his personal aide, Blake Gottesman, who buys individual songs and albums, including Mr. Jones's and Mr. Jackson's greatest hits, from the iTunes music store.

Thanks for letting us know G Dubs gets all his tunes legally and through a third party. We thought he might be secretly logging onto Soulseek under the alias "POTUShaxx0r".

Also, The Times kind of answers its own question about what Tha Dubs' mix says about himself. Hello? "Brown Eyed Girl"? It's clear to us this is POTUS' desperate cry to reveal himself to the world as an assman. C'mon, just check out the trunk on Vanilla.



She might be Vanilla, but lately she's been handling it more like Chocolate. You catch our drift?

To be fair, the songs listed in the article are neither great nor terrible. With the exception of the Kenny Chesney and Alan Jackson hick-o-rama, everything else is acceptable fare for a man of Tha Dubs' age.

The only thing that puzzled us was his affinity for Fogerty. Do you think he's familiar with some of his other work?
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Courtesy of Gran Faro (via The Astermay Of Ighthays), here's a list of 622 music videos to watch today, ranging from A World Of Happiness' "The Patience Bossa" to Yeah Yeah Yeahs' "Date With The Night".

622 is a hearty number, so let DW recommend a few you may or may not have seen that we just think are the bees knees/so viciously horrendous you must view them with your own eyes (you have to guess which is which):

Aphex Twin - "Come To Daddy" (link)
Aphex Twin - "Windowlicker" (link)
Beck - "E-Pro" (link)
The Cramps - "Garbageman" (link)
Crispin Hellion Glover - "Ben" (link)
Devo - "Whip It" (link)
The Doors - "People Are Strange" (link)
Duran Duran - "The Reflex" (link)
Foetus - "Verklemmt" (link)
Foo Fighters - "Everlong" (link)
Guns N' Roses - "Welcome To The Jungle" (link)
Iron Maiden - "The Number Of The Beast" (link)
Johnny Cash - "Hurt" (link)
Jon Spencer Blues Explosion - "She Said" (link)
LL Cool J - "Mama Said Knock You Out" (link)
Nine Inch Nails - "March Of The Pigs" (link)
NWA - "100 Miles And Runnin'" (link)
Pearl Jam - "Do The Evolution" (link - better link)
Primus - "Wynona's Got A Big Brown Beaver" (link)
Queens Of The Stone Age - "Go With The Flow" (link - better link)
Sigur Ros - "Untitled #1" (link - better link)
The Strokes - "Hard To Explain" (link)
U.N.K.L.E. - "Rabbit In Your Headlights" (link)
Whitesnake - "Here I Go Again" (link)

Man, there's just something about Tawny Kitaen mounting a car that makes us want to...



Nevermind.

Anyways, don't be sheep and take all your orders from DW. Check out the entire page and pick your favorites. It's pretty comprehensive if you're an Iron Maiden and/or Sonic Youth fan.

Can those even coexist? Discuss amongst yourselves.

UPDATE: Milosz alerted us to the possibility that the Gran Faro site might be spreading spyware. As a precaution, we've removed the links to the site. However, the direct video links should still be OK -- most of them are hosted by video clearinghouses or record company sites that have been perfectly safe in the past. If we get word that any of those sites are junk, we'll can those links as well.

We apologize in advance if you've had any problems. DW would never knowingly link anyone that would shitbag your 'puter.

UPDATE 2: After a quick virus check, and some cautious reassurance from Michael at Yewknee, we've put the links back up. Still, proceed with caution if you're unsure.

UPDATE 3: As long as we're on the subject of videos, here's a bonus one, courtesy of Boing Boing.

Daft Punk - "Technologic" (link)
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Rather than blaming his election loss on the fact that he ran probably the worst presidential campaign since George McGovern, the junior senator from Massachusetts is instead saying Republicans cheated their way to victory with a campaign of trickery and intimidation:

Many voters in last year's presidential election were denied access to the polls through trickery and intimidation, former Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry told a voters' group Sunday.

"Last year too many people were denied their right to vote, too many who tried to vote were intimidated," the Massachusetts senator said at an event sponsored by the state League of Women Voters.

"There is no magic wand. No one person is going to stand up and suddenly say it's going to change tomorrow. You have to do that," he said.

Kerry supporters have charged that voting irregularities in largely Democratic areas made it difficult for voters to cast ballots in the November election. A lawsuit in Ohio cited long lines and a shortage of voting machines in predominantly minority neighborhoods, but the Ohio Supreme Court dismissed the suit.

Kerry also cited examples Sunday of how people were duped into not voting.

"Leaflets are handed out saying Democrats vote on Wednesday, Republicans vote on Tuesday. People are told in telephone calls that if you've ever had a parking ticket, you're not allowed to vote," he said.

DW can personally attest to this fact. Just for kicks, we went to our local polling place the day after the election, only to find confused Democrats inside scratching their heads, scribbling ink dots on the walls, answering some ballot questions with several page essays, and wrestling with themselves, taking imaginary punches to the kidneys from Karl Rove. It was like a fucking scene out of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

We've been hearing these same election day horror stories for the past four and a half years now, and we're pretty close to calling bullshit on someone. We know there was some weird shit going on with the voting rolls in Florida in 2000, but has anybody out here really been intimidated at a polling station? The only thing we were intimidated by was the androgynous volunteer who placed our "I Voted" sticker a little too close to yours truly's nipple after I turned in my ballot.

Either way, we're going to start requiring some physical proof that this voter intimidation shit actually happened. Because now it just sounds like bullshit crybaby posturing.

And if it did happen? Sorry, but if you're duped into thinking election day is the day after EVERYONE IN THE FUCKING COUNTRY SAYS IT IS, you don't deserve to have your vote counted. If you think getting caught parking in the red zone invalidates your vote for President, we here at DW don't think you meet the qualifications for choosing the leader of the free world.

Now, that's not to say we don't need some things to change. Paper trails on voting machines? Absolutely. Better security on e-voting machines? Definitely. Every state using the same machines? A no-brainer.

But what we don't need is to be whining about this bullshit almost six months after the election happened. We don't like a radical right wing domestic agenda anymore than you guys, but even Kerry himself says that with this so called trickery, there wouldn't be enough votes to change the outcome. So what the fuck are you babbling on about then?

So please, shut the fuck up, take down the bumper stickers off your car (including those Howard Dean ones -- Mom, we're talking TO YOU), and get to work on actually affecting some changes to our shitty, corrupt, gridlocked government instead of crying about how you lost the biggest game of Scrabble in history to a ex-cokehead nepotist. It just makes you look like a douchebag.

But, then again...



...a leopard can't change his stop cock.
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Isn't this kind of a stretch, fancypants? Sure, you have a point, but you're protesting outside of a wedding, and that's just bad taste no matter how big the twats getting hitched inside are. Where are your fucking manners, queer?

In other news, who in their right mind cares about this fucking shit besides the Queen and Larry King?
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